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10 things an Internet tech has to deal with September 2, 2006

Posted by Al in : funny , trackback
  1. Do NOT give your information to me and then say “Here, let me give you to my son/daughter/friend, they know a LOT more than I do about computers.” They will prove to be 10,000 times more inept than you are.
  2. I don’t care about the fact that you can still get on AOL, that in no way proves that your computer is in good working order!
  3. That clicking you hear isn’t your phone going out … it’s me hitting mute and making fun of you
  4. When I say “It’s okay, lots of people make that mistake.”, it’s not. You’re just stupid.
  5. Never, EVER threaten me. You do NOT know me. You do NOT know what I’ve done in my life prior to taking this job. You do NOT know what I’m capable of doing, and you do NOT know how I might choose to respond to a physical threat against my person. You know NOTHING about me except my first name, and I GAVE you that. On the other hand, I have in front of me all the knowledge about you that I would need if you decide to do something stupid. So do NOT threaten me.
  6. Your “Friend who knows all about computers” will destroy your system. Please do not argue his credentials with us, for we have seen his work many times, and that is why you are now calling us.
  7. Do NOT call me from work to talk about a problem you’re having at home.
  8. When I say “ok now shutdown the computer” and you say “do you want me to shut down or restart” I at that point get to insult your mother, and tap dance on your cpu. I read it somewhere it’s a rule … really. This rule also applies if after I ask you to shut down and you tell me that your computer has almost finished rebooting after we have waited for your crappy 486 windows 95 to startup … ahhhh!!!
  9. When you tell them the problem is the OS, they will never believe you because Windows 95a has worked JUST FINE for them for the past six years without a single reinstallation.
  10. When it’s the end of the work week, payday and 5 mins before your shift is done (This happens EVERY payday before it’s time to go home!), the dreaded MAC user will phone in with every single problem that a MAC can have The cust will be completely difficult with you because you don’t know much about a MAC but know more than the MAC user and demand you fix their problem now because they NEED it for their business and it’s costing them money even though they are a residential account. Did I forget to mention that their english is also very poor and they speak faster than the speed of light?


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